The Girl Who Said She Could Fly by Michelle Pauline Lim
My Delicate,
A Short Story by
Jude Thaddeus L. Bautista
Michelle’s eyes would light up upon seeing a colorful toy, bright clothing. Sensing this her mother would give crayons and would occupy her for hours on end.
Even as a child she was in a world of her own. As the first born of a young couple, they were her first playmates.
One recurring theme in the drawings were wings, winged beings. Some were fairies, some bird like. She’d run around flapping her arms, “I could fly! I could fly! I could fly!”
Then her eyes would pretend to scan down the world she imagined she could see. There was a joy that could not be contained. The mind was free to roam. Her mom would also taunt, ”That’s the girl who said she could fly!”
Michelle’s imagination and love of colors and figures would stay with her growing up. Instead of crayons, her tools would slowly evolve to pencils, cray pass, water color.
Cry The Fears Dream Walker by Michelle Pauline Lim
When she discovered oils it was another experience altogether. They felt different, squishy, luscious. There was a deep dark hue to them, even when they dried. Even their scent was different like an umami taste, indescribable but unmistakably present and addictive.
Oil would become the medium to the inescapable emotions of puberty to teen years. Feelings of isolation, insecurity that any young person could relate to. They would dominate her shadowy self-portraits.
Sometimes she would be hunched down battling wind and cold. Her face would be bright in the midst of strong dark hues surrounding her.
Place Where Ego Meets by Michelle Pauline Lim
The training of Fine Arts in University allowed Michelle to hone her craft even more. Everything would come into question the whys of the subject and how she’d eventually express those ideas on to canvas.
There she met Jim. They were both young artists slowly finding their way. Because of how she felt for him, he became an important figure in her life. And he would make an appearance in her work. Large canvases, his face would join what was once a solitary figure.
Jim, had a style that seemed to be more in tune with the times, galleries. He easily participated in exhibitions. Whether it was this or other reasons, the two slowly grew apart.
Time passed and Michelle found her momentum through her work, finding recognition not in her home city of Manila but New York. The exhibit was an experience and a coming out party of sorts. The moody renditions found their audience in a culture that seemed to have more personal isolation.
Not long after that, an international exhibition followed closer to home in Singapore. Here the Asian aspect of her figures seemed more familiar.
Another character showed up in her work this time it was Kuring an adorable shitzu that would accompany Michelle almost anywhere. Although she had other dogs, Kuring seemed especially close to her. And would show up surreptitiously on canvas, sometimes as a stick figure beside her own in a sea of grey.
Where the Rainbow Ends by Michelle Pauline Lim
Looking back at the success she achieved Michelle’s mother would feel the pride and accomplishment only a parent would. Through the years she realized something profound. Seeing her use colors, strokes to express her emotions, ideas, eventually capturing her true self was the reward. The act of painting was the fulfillment itself not fame or perceived monetary success.
Michelle would let her imagination flow and share it with the world.
And remembering all those years ago her mother whispered, “That’s the girl who said she could fly.”
